But following the less-than-welcome phone call two days ago (see previous post. "... but no help came..."), I got another unexpected phone call yesterday morning.
Better, but very unexpected. An occupational therapist on the local team wanted to come and see me that afternoon.
Now, advice and support is good, and this lady was very nice, very supportive and very informative.
And will be coming to see me four or five times more (on current thinking).
She was also able to reassure me that my basic thinking and approach to date has not been significantly wrong.
So far, so good. Very good and helpful, in fact.
You can feel the "but... " coming, can't you?
Is this just a case of Suspicions Minds?
(...We're caught in a trap. I can't walk out... (or anywhere, much.))
It's only two things: one not certain, the other as clear as can be.
In the letter I had from the consultant who saw me, it stated that it was unlikely that individual OT support would be available, given current demand/staffing levels, and thought that group meetings would be available, not starting before September.
But now, given that NHS resources have hardly leapt up, have I been assessed to be rather further up the priority scale than I had thought? That's worth a thought.
Especially when it was made very clear yesterday that, despite my considerable moves towards a small area, low impact, restricted but relaxed lifestyle... I've still got a lot of activity downsizing to do. I'm still doing too much, it seems, given the symptoms I've been reporting.
That doesn't augur well. What else to throw overboard? To not do?(See Flotsam and Jetsam, this month, again). This will be for discussion between us next time, after I've recorded some activity/rest time sheets for a week.
But I mean, I've hardly been doing Jumpin' Jack Flash impersonations or running with Olympic torches.
I am in practice housebound, barring rare exceptions which are going to have to be even more exceptional.
But just today, and OK I am feeling distinct fatigue symptoms anyway, just from having had a visitor for an hour yesterday, I feel a bit like a dodgy Eurozone country faced with more austerity... More?
"Please Sir, I don't want any more..."
Pause for thought.
New message to self: you don't know of a better 'ole, so take your medicine (literal or metaphorical) and soldier on.
If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined.
You know you have CFS when you watch the sweetener tablet drop into your nice hot steaming mug...
...of tomato soup.