Returning to normal?

Only for certain values of normal, obviously.

"Normal" is a very variable concept, capable of use and misuse, and hanging very much on the sample being considered.

I'm not at all near normal for an "average human being", but then neither is an Olympic athlete.  Though pretty much for polar opposite reasons.
But I am definitely getting closer to the pattern of coping, and energy expenditure and management that I've come to consider normal for the past two or three months with my CFS.
Which is something, given the past week and a bit.

And as before, the next step is not to bet too strongly that I am back to my normal.  "Careful, it could be a trap" is somewhere I've been before.  And probably will end up again and and again.  This is going to be a long campaign, and I'm still really only getting a base camp sorted out and something like secure.
Well, secure for an earthquake zone.
"Anything can happen in the next half-hour"

Easily that quickly, thinking about it.  One phone call, visitor or significant domestic crisis could push me completely into the red as far as energy resources go.
But since there's no planning to cope with that, I shan't bother and thus save that bit of energy.  
Job done, or neatly and deliberately left un-done, as anxiety is far too much bother and effort.

"It's the end of the world!!"
"Wake me when it's over."

On not watching the Paralympics...

Well, not yet anyway.
I got as far as inspecting the available coverage, and noting some of the events I will want to watch, mainly the less-mainstream, if C4 actually cover them (the online availability appears as nothing, compared to what the BBC managed to deliver.)
But then the headache and dizziness set in and I was set for another essentially horizontal day, and television was not a preferred activity whatever was on.

Looking back, it's really not been a good week!
Never mind, no pressure, no records to break, and "personal bests" at the moment are more in the area of "coping", and maintaining good cheer in adverse conditions.
Without the shouting, flag-waving crowds for encouragement.

"Hold until relieved", as Major Howard's orders gave it.
I don't think they specified "and look happy while you're doing it."
That would have been a bit much, all things considered.

Tiny increments of ground gained?
A brown bear got a boilersuit, and I did use my marbles time-keeper correctly.
That really was about it.  Hmm.

Let's see if I can make a couple of engine driver's hats tomorrow.
Or some such tiny marker to prove the day actually happened.

Today my house was cleaned.

Except my bedroom.
I knew little about it since after welcoming my cleaner in I retired to said room and was dead to the world within about five minutes, only waking up some time after she had gone.

Not a lifestyle for a thrill-seeker, this.
No model railways work or DIY or gardening achieved today.
I'm pretty certain today actually happened...
...Yes, the kitchen is tidier.

And now the paralympics are starting.
There will be some events worth watching, and I admire the whole aim.
Just feeling a little left-behind, with nothing in the listings I could compete at.  Not even the Boccia, currently.

And while there is a plan for people to protest at ATOS being a sponsor of the paralympics, there is some very mixed irony in my Atos medical passing me 100% for for work while I'm absolutely incapable of getting there to protest the unfairness and idiocy of their procedures.

Bizarre.  Is there a sane world out there somewhere?

Tuesday 28th August. Missing in inaction.

This is starting to get silly.
I only just managed to get up, washed, dressed and rested in time to take delivery of the week's groceries and household stuff, ordered on-line and turning up at noon.
(without modern buying on-line I would have needed at least a part-time carer some time ago.)
Accepting the delivery and putting it away are separate five-minute activities (exception for the frozen stuff), needing, and it was needing, two more hours of rest.

And a bit more.
I am definitely going to push(!?) for maximum rest for the remainder of the week to see if I can't get the right side of this fatigue.

Nothing happened, then nothing happened again, and the two were so close together that they almost seemed one non-event.
Spike Milligan would have understood.

It is Monday 27th August. Here is the news.

There isn't any.

Monday essentially did not happen.
Having not slept well for a couple of nights, I took a sleeping tablet, prescribed for such occasions.  Or rather I took half the prescribed amount.

Not only did I get a good night's sleep, I got most of a good day's sleep as well, was incapable of doing any real activity and at nearly noon on Tuesday I'm still feeling the effects.
(You are seeing this text after three clean-ups.)

It's a different sort of "call to the horizontal" from my usual CFS fatigue, though I decline trying to put the difference into words.

I won't be doing that too often, though I'm going to come out of it all quite well-placed.
It's an odd thing: I've tried a range, via my doctor, and finding a medication and dosage that will give me reliable sleep without doping me for the rest of the day has proven a very difficult quest.

But quirky reactions to medication are a feature of both Asperger's and ME, so I'm not dreadfully surprised.  Been there with anaesthetics, too.

Not... quite... there.

It's a slow game, this recovery from a visitor.
Good job I was never part of a busy social whirl in the first place.

No visitors planned for this week at all, barring deliveries, and I'll see my cleaner for a few minutes: I pick one room and crash out in it while she's here.  Staying around to talk, or help, is just not on.
Not what I wish, but what is.  Reality is trumps.

But if little unexpected is expected,
(Remember to allow for the unknown unknowns, as far as possible),
this may be a good week for being very orderly about routine, rest and activity.
With the help of one or two or three novelties, perhaps.
My occupational therapist suggested using markers to help keep track of my activity spend, and I've put something together a bit more attractive and less likely to be forgotten than a piece of paper with marks on it:

Six used, somewhere near lunchtime.

The trick is going to be using it enough that it becomes routine.  Otherwise remembering  it, and counting up, is going to be a chore.
And sooner or later start getting left undone.
Ah, well, the experiment will tell, one way or the other.

I may also have found some ultralight activities to help with resting.
The adding Plasticine to Sylvanian figures is actually very low stress.  No glue, and easy enough to correct anything that doesn't look right.
Promising.

I've also found a small second-hand peg-board with pieces so I can have a play with inventing different forms of solitaire.
No hard concentration and calculation, just "toying".
What else are toys for?
(He said, having a slight dig at collectors who take it all far too seriously.  A toy that has never been played with is a sad sight to me, not a marvel.)

I'm not sure you'd quite call that a plan for the week, but it will do.
A bit of me will perform it, while as usual, a bit of me watches and makes notes.

Let's see how it goes, with very small steps.

Are we nearly there. yet?

Better today, but still not quite back to the pretty reliable five minutes of activity in every hour, which was the norm at the beginning of this week.

But meanwhile, just some hints of movement, or life.
Mad life, some of it, but that's what helps keep me sane.
It could be dangerous to take this situation too seriously.


From yesterday: "and heresy or just possibly an abomination committed on a Sylvanian families rabbit."

Oh yes.  And pictures taken and and an e-mail discretely sent to find out just how much of an anathema I have created.

Working on a plan for a small window-display railway, and needing to do this more lazily if I was going to do it at all, it struck me that the size of figures I needed would fit quite well with the Sylvanian Families range, and having checked that used figures and indeed some battered and broken buildings were available very cheaply on eBay I have proceeded with this idea. It's not finished yet, progress being very slow for the obvious reasons.
However, and this is where I may have turned evil in the eyes of Sylvanian fans, I needed a couple of engine drivers and, having made an attempt, I cannot in fabric produce such dressed as I want.

I know my skills, however, and found another way.
Another however, however: doing a few google searches, I cannot find anyone else who has done what I just have, and I am now wondering if I have crossed the line and gone where no true Sylvanian families fan would ever go.
It's just that I thought some one other person, at least, would have done it first... ...or are plasticine clothes anathema?

No longer a naked rabbit, as acquired:

(I have just sent a discrete e-mail to the owner of a Sylvanian Families website, to gather an opinion.  I await a mob with torches.)