Today is not the best of days.
The main difficulty with the "summoned by bells" routine has been rousing myself for the five minutes of activity every hour. But there were things that needed doing in those brief periods: accepting the week's groceries from the deliver van, for one thing. But only the frozen stuff get put away during the same slot: 55 minutes break before attempting to move items from the box on the worktop to their proper locations. And definite need for rest after.
Accepting groceries = two hour task.
And just as an aside, how can legs feel like lead and jelly at the same time?
The Chronic Fatigue is what it is... it is certainly is overshadowing issues with Asperger's, currently, but an almost true saying (as he admits) of Tony Attwood's is that to cure Asperger's you just have to let the individual be alone in their room... they are then perfectly happy and functional.
Even having to handle the CFS, this remains pretty true.
So much hangs on this "rest of the world". Not least its expectations and demands, stated or unstated.
Time alone without social demands...
Ha! It's actually a give-away that first categorise social contact as a demand, rather than a resource or a need. Demanding it is, even if the particular social contact is something I actually find fun, or want, it's still draining, tiring. Even with best friends.
... back on track: time without social contact I can handle better than many, so it's not throwing me into depression as it might other people. The consultant was quite concerned about that until reassured.
Similarly on another area which may be showing difference.
The main difficulty with the "summoned by bells" routine has been rousing myself for the five minutes of activity every hour. But there were things that needed doing in those brief periods: accepting the week's groceries from the deliver van, for one thing. But only the frozen stuff get put away during the same slot: 55 minutes break before attempting to move items from the box on the worktop to their proper locations. And definite need for rest after.
Accepting groceries = two hour task.
And just as an aside, how can legs feel like lead and jelly at the same time?
The Chronic Fatigue is what it is... it is certainly is overshadowing issues with Asperger's, currently, but an almost true saying (as he admits) of Tony Attwood's is that to cure Asperger's you just have to let the individual be alone in their room... they are then perfectly happy and functional.
Even having to handle the CFS, this remains pretty true.
So much hangs on this "rest of the world". Not least its expectations and demands, stated or unstated.
Time alone without social demands...
Ha! It's actually a give-away that first categorise social contact as a demand, rather than a resource or a need. Demanding it is, even if the particular social contact is something I actually find fun, or want, it's still draining, tiring. Even with best friends.
... back on track: time without social contact I can handle better than many, so it's not throwing me into depression as it might other people. The consultant was quite concerned about that until reassured.
Similarly on another area which may be showing difference.
As far as I can research it (given effort limits), a range of estimates for getting better from CFS would mean I can expect another 2-4 years for me, if I'm anywhere near average. It could be more.
And I've *at least* a 40% chance of not getting completely better.
And I've *at least* a 40% chance of not getting completely better.
No, I don't find that depressing. I like to know, at least approximately, what the situation *really* is.
I find people building unrealistic castles of hope on unlikely statistics or none worrying and almost incomprehensible. On of those blindspots where I can't see how the trick is done, or why it is.
(another would be "how to be part of a crowd")
(another would be "how to be part of a crowd")
That does appear to be my Asperger's in play. Or at work.
Size things up and live with them. Or change them if sizing up that option reveals a more attractive and viable possibility.
Cursing cruel fates achieves little. And eats up precious energy in any case.
Size things up and live with them. Or change them if sizing up that option reveals a more attractive and viable possibility.
Cursing cruel fates achieves little. And eats up precious energy in any case.
No comments:
Post a Comment